14 year old son hijacked by hormones

Hormones have hijacked my Small Man.

Things a 14 year old boy cannot do...

Close a door

Open a blind

Switch off a light

Take bowl from arm of couch

Find the dishwasher

Put empty Tayto bag in bin

Pull toe out of sock

Have socks in drawer

Pick things up

Stay out of fridge

Wear a jacket

Bring dog for a walk

Things a 14 year old can do proficiently...

Sigh

Shrug

Grunt

Fart

Shuffle behind you

Quadratic equations

Eat mountains of toast

Eat earphone wires

Eat

Maintain monosyllabic conversation

Media stack

Spend hours messaging on Facebook

Explain floordrobe system

Grow taller, audibly

Switch moods faster than the speed of light

Be obnoxious

Be genuinely, hilariously funny



Current Top Ten most used utterances

‘Grand’

‘I dunno’

‘What’s for dinner’

‘There’s never anything to eat in this house’

 ‘Where's my....[insert any article of clothing/footwear or just any word here]’

‘Do I look alright?’

 ‘I need a fiver for a chicken roll’

‘What’s the point of learning Irish?’

 ‘Oh my God!!! Who ate all the biscuits?!!!’

‘For f.... sake’